{Poll} Seeing Each Other Before the Ceremony: To do or not to do?

Big discussion and debate at my house this weekend with a good friend over the eternal question...should Nick and I see each other before the ceremony to allow for extra time to take photos or stick with the traditional and have the first time we see each other be when I come down the aisle? Photographers always encourage seeing each other before with some kind of "first look". From the beginning, I said I did not want to see him and I wouldn't change my mind for anyone. Well, now I'm starting to waiver. I really want the first time I see him to be when I walk down the aisle, BUT I also want great photographs of us all decked out. There are so many pros and cons for both.

If we see each other before, there will be no rush after to hurry and take the photos so we will make it to dinner on time. It would definitely be more relaxed and I would be fresh from hair and makeup. I know there would be a first look that could be equally special. However, at the weddings I've been a part of it was decidedly unromantic. The bride and groom were in and out of each other suites; it just didn't feel as exciting to me. Because my church has a Saturday afternoon mass, our wedding has to be at the somewhat early time of 2:30. All pictures before would mean getting up even earlier and I am so not a morning person.

If we went with the traditional route, we would take photos before separately with our respective family and wedding party members. Then after take photos with two of us together and with families and wedding party. We would be {hopefully} be glowing from finally becoming husband and wife. We are having a cocktail hour at the hotel immediately following to build in extra time {plus allow us to serve dinner at a normal hour and then dance and celebrate all evening long}. However, the more I think about how many photographs we need to take {we both come from divorced families}, the more worried I am that we will feel rushed for time and not get any great photos of just the two of us. Then there is the dreaded risk of having the ugly cry in all of the photos of you walking down the aisle. {As blogged about in the post The Big Reveal on Weddingbee by the then-Miss, now-Mrs. Cupcake.} A first look could definitely ease some of the very strong emotions of the day.

So... time for a poll: what did you do and why? {Or what are you doing and why?} Vote in the poll and/or leave a comment below. I can't wait to read all of your answers!

online surveys at easy-poll

	Did you see your fiance before the ceremony for photos?
	Yes and I was happy with our decision because...
	Yes and I regret it because...
	No and I was happy with our decision because...
	No and I regret it because...
	We are not married yet, but are planning to because...
	We are not married yet, but are NOT planning to because ...
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Comments

[EWM]

We don't plan on seeing each other because we just want to be in the moment. I understand why people see each other beforehand but the practicality of it is not enough of a reason - I like the romance and tradition of the double doors at the back of my church swinging open to reveal me to him and him to me. I'm not afraid of the ugly cry - I embrace it if that's what happens! And knowing our friends and family they won't mind getting a head start on cocktails and hors d'oeurves! Not to mention when I told him that some couples see each other beforehand he was shocked (he never heard of that before!) and said he liked the tradition so that works for me too!

[Heather]

I took the survey, but wanted to say something to :) We aren't married yet, and are planning to do the whole first look thing, both out of want and of necessity. Our reception is a cocktail and appetizer party, so we have zero time after to waste taking all the pictures, since the reception will only be for a few hours :)
But i think if we had more time after, we would still do it before. The whole "in and out of each others suites" thing is super unromantic! We are going to only see each other once we are all dressed up and everything. and then after the ceremony we are going to do a few "just married" shots of the two of us. I am glad we are doing it this way, except our wedding (also catholic) is at 10 am and I just booked our photographer to come at 7:30 am to take getting ready shots. ouch. I'm gonna need a nap :)

[Erin]

We did a southern style buffet reception and there is no "dinner time." Our guests aren't allowed to eat until we get there except for the cheese and small finger foods. We had so many food stations that would be closed until we had our dances and everything.

I wanted the first look because I wanted to take some really beautiful pictures with just Todd and me. We cried when we first saw each other. We stayed away from each other all day and I walked down the aisle and the music played, but it was just us. It was very romantic and that was one of my favorite things about the day. We were able to leave the ceremony and get straight to the chapel.

Because your ceremony is so early, this may not even be an issue for you. Your guests won't be starved because it won't be dinner time just yet.

Our reception started at 7:00 so people were HUNGRY! :) If I were YOU, I'd take some pictures before, wait to see him at the ceremony, and then take some awesome pictures after the ceremony before the reception. Make sure you don't cut your camera time/time with your photographer short. You'd definitely regret that later.

[Abbie]

We don't plan on seeing each other before. I know that pictures take a lot of time, but we both decided that we love the traditional and exciting aspect of not seeing each other until I am walking down the aisle. The pics of grooms seeing their brides walk down the aisle come out with such genuine emotion... we just couldn't pass that up.

[Tara]

I am so glad we saw each other before the ceremony. For us, my favorite photos are those of right after our "first meeting" and those where we snuck away during the cocktail hour for about 20 minutes. It did not take away from the incredible emotions of walking down the aisle or meeting at the "alter." We both were moved to tears at this point even though we had spent 2 hours prior taking photos.

Additionally, we wanted to celebrate with our guests as much as possible and there is no way we could have taken all the photos that we did without missing a significant chunk of our reception.

This is such a personal decision... and also varies by situation. As non-romantic as logistics are they are part of every wedding. Even if you see each other before you will still feel intense emotion for the processional and ceremony.

[notsojenny]

we're going to see each other before the walk down the aisle. but i want it to be just the two of us (and a photographer of course). so we can completely be ourselves and really capture the reactions. we'll still do all the party & family photos after the ceremony, but that moment we see each other for the first time that day i don't want to be standing so far away from him. i want to hug him and tell him how much i love him. i know that's what the day implies but i just really want to be near him with all those emotions swirling. i'm planning on having this moment in a secluded location outside (if the weather cooperates). i'm looking forward to it!

[natalie]

We also saw each other before the ceremony, and I am so glad that we did. We had a sweet, private moment in the beautiful lobby of our hotel before hoping in a cab and heading out for photos. We had some time to catch up in the back of the cab and as we walked around the city. Even though I had seen him that morning for breakfast, again for photos and ridden along with him in the trolley to the church, I couldn't have been happier to see him at the end of the aisle. I cried, I laughed and I had the time of my life.
The best part is that we (and our bridal party) had the entire cocktail hour to greet our guests. This gave us more time to relax and enjoy the reception.