{Help!} Location, location

I need a moment. {FYI, this is going to be long.}

From the moment Nick and I got engaged, our reception location has been a huge topic of conversation. I knew I wanted/had to get married in my childhood church, but as I've mentioned my hometown is pretty small. The local reception halls leave a bit to be desired; most of them are men's clubs {Elks, Moose, etc.} complete with 1960s wood paneling and a lingering smell of stale cigarettes. Classy, right?

There are two nicer, more formal locations: the country club and a newer building in the park. However, the country club seats 250, less than comfortably I might add, and the other building doesn't allow alcohol. So we began looking to towns nearby for a place. At first, I had my heart set on Dayton {and the lovely Art Institute}. Nick lived there before we moved to Mississippi and we LOVED it. However, our parents thought that was too far of a drive, so we turned to a town in between.

My mom and step-dad checked out a few locations after we decided on a date and we chose the only hotel with a ballroom. They both thought it would be the place I would like best. They also liked the idea that our guests wouldn't have to worry about getting home if they were drinking; they could just stumble up to their rooms. They took some photographs to send to me, but we went ahead and booked the room before I saw them. When they sent them to me, I was seriously disappointed. I couldn't get past the dropped ceilings and red linens. They both assured me that the ceilings were only low in the area where the buffet is.

While I was at home, my mom and I went to the hotel so I could see the room in person and meet the salesperson and coordinator in charge of setting it up. I was, needless to say, unimpressed with both the room and the salesperson. The room is small; they aren't sure they can fit 300 at round tables; the ceiling is low and tiled; it is just nondescript and has no character. {In my dream world, our reception would be in a building with a ton of character that didn't need a lot of work. This needs some work.} The salesperson was so uninterested in ANYTHING I said. She didn't take a single note about the linens I requested, the Christmas tree decorations I asked be removed, etc.

Bottom line: I'm not thrilled, but we're stuck have the reception there. In an effort to prevent mistakes on their part, I am going to micromanage like it is my job. I'm considering hiring a day of coordinator to prevent any unforeseen mishaps. There is also the option of putting a family member/trusted friend in charge of making sure the hotel does as instructed.

I'm very curious...with all the diy nowadays, how does it all come together on the actual day? Our wedding ceremony begins at 2:30, which makes it virtually impossible for me to be on site the morning of setting up. How did {or will} it all come together for you? Did you hire someone? Put the centerpieces together before {would be difficult with candle based centerpieces}? Did your reception site take care of all of it for you? Have a trusted family member/friend in charge?

Do I sound a little frantic...maybe because I am {just a little bit}! I don't want to be worrying about this the day of. I just think about all the money we might put into centerpieces/decor and I don't want it to go to waste. Plus, our fabulous decor will make me not notice the low ceilings and other eyesores.

Thanks in advance for letting me pick your brain. My mom and Nick's mom just keep saying it'll work out, but I need to know HOW it will work out.

Comments

[Elizabeth]

Though our location was ideal and didn't need much help at all I was still very involved in every detail and the set up. I was my own planner, decorator, etc with the help of my mom, sisters, mother and sister-in-law. We did all the flowers and prep the day before. My husband and a few of his friends set up the ceremony and reception site the morning of (you know how long it doesn't take guys to get ready!). The lady that owned our location would have helped with anything we needed for a fee but that wasn't in the budget. I highly recommend either getting a day of coordinator (if in the budget) that is totally on your side or asking a close friend that knows how to boss, is creative and will make sure things are done to your liking. But make sure he/she is in on all the details- don't fill them in on the day of the wedding. :) You want to enjoy your day to the fullest and worrying about what is going on at the reception site is not going to allow you to do that.

[Emily]

i have always wondered this too, we have SO much DIY stuff that i worry it won't be set up right or even at all!

[Erin]

We had a gorgeous ballroom in a beautiful, historic hotel in downtown Greenville. This was not our hometown and none of us lived there. We had the distance dilemma, too. I was totally unimpressed with the salesperson that I worked with. Then she left. Then I was totally unimpressed with the replacement salesperson. Then she left. You get the picture. It was a nightmare. But I was very impressed with the chef! The food tasting was wonderful and because I am an event planner for my JOB I stayed on her with the room layout. We had a southern-style reception with plenty of seating and food, but not designated dinner. So the layout was really important to me. Anyway... I asked a friend to be my day of coordinator. She and my mom got there early in the morning and monitored the set up and corrected and fixed, etc. The DOC and I created a to-the-second timeline and went over what needed to go where and she knew exactly what I wanted and needed. We also had a friend assigned to help with transportation and another friend to kind of be our escort once we got to the reception. Our friends were wonderful and my DOC was such a blessing. We covered her hotel room and she offered to provide the services for free, but we paid her anyway. There will come a point where you'll need to delegate and let go so you can enjoy yourself. Get some help! :)

[Liz]

I just got married this past weekend and I must say it all came together so much better than expected, so I was thrilled! We had a huge hall (church activity center) that was very plain and boring, so I had to get very creative with the space and colors. Almost every single thing I did for the wedding was DIY. The most important and most successful thing I did was use paper lanterns hung from the ceiling to bring the space in so it looked more cozy and not so huge. It turned out beautifully!

We had the hall the whole day on Friday before the wedding, so we got it all done before rehearsal. I was fortunate enough to be able to do my own hair, makeup, and nails, so we were able to go there a couple of hours before the ceremony to add final touches.

Everyone kept telling me to stop worrying and that it would all work out. I didn't believe them, but they were so right! I trust it will go the same way for you if you really put your mind to it.

[Tara]

That is a bummer that you will have to micromanage them. Ugh.

I think that there are several options on how to get everything set up. I have seen where you can set up the night before and then just have family pitch in to get it all done. Or doing it early in the morning. If you won't have time yourself- maybe a few family members/friends will be happy to do the set up. Or hiring a day of coordinator.

I decided to hire a DOC since we could not even store things at our venue the night before and I wanted my family to be able to relax... and I didn't want to be stressed trying to make sure all the little DIY things got to their places. So far- I am thrilled with the decision to spend the money on a DOC.

[Kristina]

DEFINITELY hire someone. In my fantasy world, I was hoping to put together all my DIY projects the day of too... but I've been told by many reliable sources that if you have any intention of actually enjoying your wedding, DON'T do it. I took the advice of those who have come before and we actually hired a month of coordinator who will basically make my vision happen when the day comes. I AM SO RELIEVED. The day of coordination was, in retrospect, really stressing me out. The best thing I've learned so far is that you really want to be relaxed and happy and beautiful on your wedding day, not micro-managing with a clipboard and headset. Your memory of your wedding should be what an amazing time you had with your husband, family, and friends, not that the venue forgot to light the candles.